This girl is more easily done than said...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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