I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
