I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
