The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
