He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
