he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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