Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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