idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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