Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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