Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
