Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he thought i was a dude.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
