Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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