i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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