Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Someone came in the potted fern
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
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