No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
