Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
