Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
