Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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