Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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