I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
COCAINE IS GR8
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
