I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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