the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
