I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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