pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I understand Curling. That high.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
