It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Someone signed my nipple.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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