I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
