Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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