There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
