Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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