Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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