he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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