Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
