I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
