I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
