No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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