Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
