you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
