I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
