no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
