Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Will exercising make me less horny?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
