I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
