I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
