What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
