I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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