I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
