Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
