so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
