i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I didn't notice because vodka
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
