guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
