O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
