I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
