I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
