cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
